Some Things Can't Be Worked Out

I read a quote once that said, "never confuse being loved and needed with being used and wanted." It was intersting to me that someone felt the need to have to share that with another. I even felt bad for that person, not knowing he or she was being used. Then I wondered how that happens to a person? What does one miss and wind up just being used? When is there a transition from a balance to an imbalance? I had so many questions, but no answers. Well, I can answer all of them now and believe me, I do not feel the least bit sorry for myself. I am mad as hell and not going to take it any more!

~The Boss Lady

Change The Narrative

This past year, we have seen powerful men in Hollywood and elsewhere finally held accountable for sexual harassment and assault. We also saw the backlash survivors faced after coming forward. I wanted these survivors to know that I believed them, I supported them, and that this happened to me too.

~Terry Crews

There are some people who I consider to be super heros. They are public figures who do super amazing things. I wanted to call upon the super hero, Terry Crews, today as a friend shed tears as she started to share that trying to repress her memories of being sexually assaulted was too hard. She told me that she had never shared her story with anyone because it felt shameful, so she convinced herself that she had not been assaulted. She conjoled herself into burying the memory, but she readily admitted that the assault had manifested in her developing cripling fear of some situations and the inability to trust others. Her feelings are a heavy weight to bear, that carrying around of shame, fear and distrust should not be her burden.

Terry Crews' decision to testify before the Senate Judiciary Committee changes the narrative on who the survivors of sexual assaults in Hollywood really are. He did not give up when the industry attempted to downplay his assault, and he very publicly supported other survivors through the telling of his own story. His bravery and support of the Sexual Assault Survivors’ Bill of Rights will help survivors to take back their power, knowing that being victimized has nothing to do with being weak. His power and resilience resonated in his testimony, and I pray that those who feel that they have no voice will be able to speak.

The #metoo movement followed by the media attention given to the men in Hollywood and other public figures, and this show of real life super hero Terry Crews' bravery has to propel those of you who are crippled by sexual assualts and victim shaming toward being free of that weight.

~The Boss Lady

Flexibility Doesn't Mean Failure

You gotta be moldable like clay if you're playing to win the long game. You won't get to the finish line being hard-headed in these streets.

~Henna C. Brown 

All too often we get so caught up in our own direction that we fail to take the turn at the detour. Sometimes we cannot hear the warning we are being given because our own ego is speaking too loudly. It is important to pay attention, evaluate what is happening around us and adjust based on the current environment. Being rigid thwarts achieving success in an ever-changing world. Winning requires that you not only take the blinders off but also that you become flexible. Change is as change does. 

~The Boss Lady

You Are Not A Hamster

If you always do what you always did, it will always give you what you already got.

~Jackie "Moms" Mabley

Hampsters run on a wheel trying to get to their destination, but success never comes. If you are not a hamster, why do you use the same route when your destination is not always the same? Why do you choose the same flawed man in a different physical form? How do you accept jobs with the same work that you know you hate? What causes you to choose to engage in repetitive toxic friendships? If you desire a result that differs from your past outcomes, make an effort to do something new. Get off of the wheel!

~The Boss Lady

Learn From Your Mistakes

There is a way to look at the past. Don't hide from it. It will not catch you if you don't repeat it. 

~Pearl Bailey